The Spanking of Stupidness

Filed Under: CharacterFoundations
I remember a stupid mistake I made several years back. A little incident I will simply call ”The Spanking Of Stupidness.” I can’t remember what I got in trouble for, but, for one reason or another, I was guilty of disobeying my mom. Back then, when I was 9, I don’t think time outs had been invented yet. 

My mom relied on a time-tested disciplinary device…an old fashioned behind beating. Now mom never read the scriptures, but there was one piece of Biblical advice that she took very literally…“Spare the rod…and you spoil the child.”

I remember years ago, hearing Pastor Chuck Smith, relay a story about a conversation he had with his son, after spanking him (I’m paraphrasing this from memory). Chuck was trying to impress upon his son, the importance of discipline and why disciplining was a parent’s responsibility. He shared with his son that same verse, “Son,” he said, “The Bible says, spare the rod and you spoil the child.” His son’s creative and cute response- “Dad, the way I see it, You’re suppose to…spare the rod…AND SPOIL THE CHILD!”

Well, back to my story. Mom sent me off to my room to tan my hide. She came in and sat on the end of my bed. Now, she didn’t give me of those, “This is going to hurt you more than it hurts me,” speeches. We parents know that isn’t true anyways. It always hurts the kid more and frankly, that’s the way we like it. She had me lay across her lap, so that my hind quarters would be elevated into the proper paddling position. She began whacking away, using her hand to hit me where the good Lord split me. She put in a good effort…she worked it…tried hard to make it hurt, but, unbeknownst to her, it didn’t. As she was concluding clobbering my cute and tiny little caboose, I came up with a quick plan. I attempted an academy award winning, quality performance. I put on a perfect protruding little turkey lip and started the water works. She bought it. I appeared appropriately ashamed; convincingly crestfallen.

She walked out of the room, confident that her little boy had learned his lesson. I was almost giddy…filled with so much pride at my performance. I figured, what she didn’t know, wouldn’t hurt her. Little did I know at the time, what she didn’t know, she would find out about and it would come back to haunt and hurt me.

The scripture says, “Pride cometh before destruction and a haughty spirit before the fall.” And the fall was just right around the corner and through the hall. I concluded my little victory celebration, wiped the smile off of my face and made my way into the living room, all the while, attempting to look very sullen, serious and solemn. 
Unfortunately, when I walked into the room and my eyes met mom’s, and I made a seriously stupid mistake. I broke one of the cardinal rules in the “kid’s spanking survival handbook.” If there are any kids reading this article, I want you to listen closely…because this is some advice that you can take to the bank…This is rule 1A from the “kid’s spanking survival handbook.” After your mom spanks you, if it does not hurt but you have effectively convinced her that it has…under absolutely no circumstances whatsoever are you to walk back out into the living room, look at your mom, and start laughing. I can tell you from experience, it will not bode well for you.

Funny thing was, when I looked at my mom and started laughing, she started laughing too. But the joke was on me. It was not long after that, the very next time I was disciplined, the era of the “hot wheel tracks” began in our home. Parents, a bit of helpful advice…what the hand cannot hurt, a three-fold strand of hot wheel tracks will.

Discipline…any parent worth his or her salt disciplines their children. Discipline necessarily, oftentimes, painfully illustrates love and devotion to a child. Discipline effectively, and often without words, communicates parental commitment. Discipline is not punitive, it is corrective, and it is for the sake of character building and training. We discipline our kids because we want them to be conscientious men and women of character, men and women of honesty, industry, and integrity.

We discipline our kids because we don’t want them to experience the consequences and baggage of bad decisions. We do want them to experience the best possible quality of life.

This is the heart of a parent, and this is also the heart of God. Sometimes during certain seasons of our lives, we experience uncomfortable consequences stemming from bad decisions and sinful choices. During these times, may we take comfort in knowing what the scriptures declare, “The Lord disciplines those that he loves.”

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